Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children

Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children

By Michael Thompson, Catherine O'Neill Grace, Lawrence J. Cohen,

Publisher: Ballantine Books
Number Of Pages: 320
Publication Date: 2001-08-28
Sales Rank: 445747
ISBN / ASIN: 0345438094
EAN: 9780345438096
Binding: Hardcover
Manufacturer: Ballantine Books
Studio: Ballantine Books
Average Rating: 4.5

Friends broaden our children’s horizons, share their joys and secrets, and accompany them on their journeys into ever wider worlds. But friends can also gossip and betray, tease and exclude. Children can cause untold suffering, not only for their peers but for parents as well. In this wise and insightful book, psychologist Michael Thompson, Ph.D., and children’s book author Catherine O’Neill Grace, illuminate the crucial and often hidden role that friendship plays in the lives of children from birth through adolescence.

Drawing on fascinating new research as well as their own extensive experience in schools, Thompson and Grace demonstrate that children’s friendships begin early–in infancy–and run exceptionally deep in intensity and loyalty. As children grow, their friendships become more complex and layered but also more emotionally fraught, marked by both extraordinary intimacy and bewildering cruelty. As parents, we watch, and often live through vicariously, the tumult that our children experience as they encounter the “cool” crowd, shifting alliances, bullies, and disloyal best friends.

Best Friends, Worst Enemies brings to life the drama of childhood relationships, guiding parents to a deeper understanding of the motives and meanings of social behavior. Here you will find penetrating discussions of the difference between friendship and popularity, how boys and girls deal in unique ways with intimacy and commitment, whether all kids need a best friend, why cliques form and what you can do about them.

Filled with anecdotes that ring amazingly true to life, Best Friends, Worst Enemies probes the magic and the heartbreak that all children experience with their friends. Parents, teachers, counselors–indeed anyone who cares about children–will find this an eye-opening and wonderfully affirming book.

Download Description:

From the bestselling coauthor of Raising Cain comes a pathbreaking new book about the intricacies of children's friendships.

Review:

Worst Enemies/ Best Friends Beacon Street Girls

Hi,My name is Taylor. I read Beacon Street Girls. It was a really great book. You never knew what to expect next. It was so interesting I could hardly put it down. It is a good book for any age girl. I felt like I was one of the Beacon Street Girls. I could see myself there. It is a perfect book for every girl. It has all the personalities of every girl, so anyone can relate to it. The book kept me guessing throughout the entire story. Even when I put it down I kept wondering what was going to happen next. I would highly recommend this book to any girl of any age. I know you will enjoy this and be glad you read it. I hope you will be as excited as I to read the next book and tell your friends.

Review:

Not as interesting as I'd hoped

I guess I was expecting something more in-depth and less instructional. I am sure this is a fine book for a parent who isn't clued into how some kids are popular and some kids have no friends at all, but I was looking for a more psychological perspective.

I did find the short sections about infants and toddlers very interesting. I think there should have been less emphasis on popularity and what it means to children. The section about people acting a certain way because of a group mentality rather than personal morals captured my attention.

Review:

This book is important.

Alice Miller (author of The Drama of the Gifted Child and Breaking Down the Walls of Silence) has long emphasized that if we are serious about solving society's problems, we must focus on how we treat children --- as individual families and as a cultural. This book is an excellent contribution toward that end.

From thought-provoking observations to practical suggestions about solutions, Best Friends, Worst Enemies is an effective education about social problems that begin in childhood, but do not end in childhood. One point the authors make that interests me greatly is that when one child is being bullied by others, the majority of children witnessing the abuse will either do nothing to intervene or they will join in with the bullying. If you think that is not a reflection of the society in which we live, think again.

As a psychotherapist and author (Embracing Fear, HarperSanFrancisco) who emphasizes personal responsibility and facing fears head on, I hope that more than just parents and educators will read this book. I think there is something here for us all to think about --- no, to do something about.

Review:

Children's social lives

Outatanding book! It has valuable information for adults concerning what our kids social lives are like and how to help them when there is a problem. Children can be so cruel. The book sheds light on a world we as adults don't really understand. This book is well written and easy to read. I highly recommend it!

Review:

Shows how parents can understand and help children socially

After watching a feature documentary on the power of social relationships to shape a child's life into adulthood, I was already interested in learning more. This book filled the bill, especially the sections which revealed how children use power (and even bullying) to both include some children and exclude others. I think most of us remember the playground bullies but what this book did was show how parents can help to change bullying behavior, give their children skills to handle bullies and lessen the damaging effects of their behavior.
This book focuses on far more than bullies and those who purchase it will find it filled with rich insights into the social world of children and how they view their friendships and connections with other children.

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